Missing Lewis Chessman Found

[vilhelmsson]

https://www.cnn.com/style/article/lo...ntl/index.html

Sotheby's is putting a million dollar estimate on it. Do we have enough time to start saving?!

[kronckew]

I'll sell you mine, it's a complete set too. i've got 4 sets in the original jewelled caskets signed by Ivar the Boneless.

[fernando]

His face is much too cracked for my taste .

[kronckew]

...as are ours. He'd have to win a few hundred more battles to be worthy of that million dollar salary. Still, footballers get that for less...

[vilhelmsson]

I'll forego an inspection if you'll take $10 plus shipping.

[kronckew]

I'll drop my client's asking price to £999,999.99 plus VAT if in the EU (Up till 21 OCT) per set and I'll ask him/her to post 2nd class snail mail via anonymous Uber-like driver free of charge, for your protection, but you get your own insurance.

Please be advised the UK Border Force, when not providing free ferry service from France (for economic migrants only) will confiscate Ivory or Ivory-like objects without notice. The UK internal postal service will also confiscate ivoryish items.

I will be sure to correctly ID the objects with a 'Caution- fragile new traditionally made antique Ivory Item, Do not Scan" label so they can be nice forgiving natured souls and bypass their scanners. If they do somehow insist on scanning & confiscation, or it gets lost, you agree by payment that I and my client who I have been assured has the sets, along with the informal Uber clone are not held responsible if lost, confiscated or stolen or or if they disappear prior to mailing...ie. If the box arrives empty, or never arrives, or is stolen off your door step, it's not our fault. Call our complaints dept. ask for my cousin Vinny.

Please send your bank details, sort code, your account name, DOB, account number, pin code and the three digit security code on your card, the long card number, your children & partners names and DOBs, and their card numbers/pins/security codes, bank details on all theri/her/his accounts. Transaction is non-cancellable and all sale final. no returns or refunds...

No need to send your addresses, we know where you live. My Neapolitan Cousin Vinny from the family back in New York City looked them all up while he was out polishing the new spikes on his Debt Collection baseball bat. (He bent the old D2 hardened tool steel spikes)

There may be a slight delay as my client will not be released from HM Prison till next week; he is paying his debt to society for a few past transactions that some overzealous judge thought were fraudulent. He promises he'll dig up the sets from Sherwood Forest as soon as we receive payment and leave for our new homes in an un-named extradition free country. Act fast, Vincento is getting restless.

10% off for more than one set. I attach a photo of the complete chess set, please note that the ivory has been removed and destroyed from each piece as required by CITES, board not included, for display purposes only.

p.s.- Sotheby's will also may remove and destroy any ivory from items they sell prior to shipment, also for your protection, without prior notice and after payment...They like surprising their customers with little free perks like that. So do Vinny and I.

[vilhelmsson]

Your plan should work. I live in California, so even if it is a newish antique it still has to be less than 5% ivory. Please remove most of the ivory. Can you replace it with a whiteish plastic?

The GBP:USD exchange rate is just about as good as it's ever been, and you can exclude VAT. But the rest of your demands sound like a lot of work on my part. If I send you my social security number and bank password, can you just look up my address and deduct the correct amount from my bank account for me?

[kronckew]

Sounds like a plan. make sure your partner transfers all her/his money, along with your children into the account. Just to ensure there is enough to cover handling fees from our Nigerian Prince who is acting as the broker, he needs to move $240 million in cash to his account in the USA, but as the ISIL rebels are watching, he must do it thru your account as if he were you, he will send me my portion so I can send it to my client, less my expenses and fees. As a token of good will he will leave you $24 million as a tip for letting him use your money. He may need to move some money out initially as a ruse, more than the cost of your item, and your account may look empty, but it will soon refill plus his gratuity if you are patient. I also will probably include a portion of white plastic epoxy putty you can use to fill in the hole left by removing all the ivory.

Don't worry, what could possibly go wrong.

p.s. - if you have any trouble transferring your children into the account, an extra hard shove usually works. Ignore the screams, children do that when they are having a good time. I will sell them to a good home.

I shall contact you shortly by alternative methods to finalise the deal, best we return this forum back to it's usual content before they all want to get in on the s̶̸̶c̶̸̶a̶̸̶m̶̸̶ deal.

[vilhelmsson]

Just when I thought I had found a permanent babysitter, you tell me this is just a scam!?

[kronckew]

Originally Posted by vilhelmsson

Just when I thought I had found a permanent babysitter, you tell me this is just a scam!?

No, it's a perfectly honest deal, trust me, I'm a politician. The Nigerian is a real prince, he told me so. Send the kids on ahead i'll even keep the females, if any, for my self, depending on how old they are. They can do the housework, cook, walk the dog, feed and water the herds, and sleep in the hay loft. When they get old ebnough I cam marry them to a rich old geezer, probably get a few camels each for them. I have a prospect, The Ayatollah Yu. He's half Italian.

I'll rent the males, if any, out to the local miners, they use them to follow the smaller seams. Send you 10% of their rent. The Miners are good people, they'll feed them almost every day and with a sliver of mystery meat once a week, and only beat them a few times a week, They're a bunch of softies at heart, hardly ever draw blood. They'll have two hours off every Christmas, Channukah, and Eid alFitr to remain fair and balanced.

I'll send you a reference letter from the local judge, he's a prince too. oddly, has the same name as the other prince. Odd coincidence.He looks just like that one too. He swears he's not him tho, and I believe him. The other prince vouched for the Judge.

[fernando]

O.K. for now, guys ...