Accident with swordand sons friend and ensuing wife fall out

[Kmaddock]

Hi
I am just wondering if anyone ever had he following experience.
My wife does not like my collection it is tolerated but not liked, nothing bar a single framed 15th Century stiletto knife is on display in our house.
My flintlocks and katanas are locked away due to value, not H and S requirement
My children 12 and 14 are very respectful of my collection and do not touch so items are not locked away.
However my son had a friend over who is interested in my collection and boys being boys they went into my study and were looking at some of my items, somehow a very very pointy court sword was stabbed into the calf of the visitor.
Blood tears etc ensued. I cleaned and dressed wound and
the lad was fine. I rang his dad and we had a conversation when I dropped his son home, we get on well enough and all seems to be fine with no lasting fall out (happened yesterday).
Wife Livid, so embarrassed by the events wants all items gone and put in the bin. Would be a different story if it was a face or an eye (but lets not go there)
Obviously I wont bin my collection but wondering if anyone else has any taughts to share on maritial strife and weapons collecting .
Cheers

Ken

[Interested Party]

Wow!!!! My longtime partner was a pacifist in theory. She asked that I give up martial arts to respect her convictions. Her precedent was her Dad giving up professional boxing, and for that matter boxing altogether, at her mother's request. Of course, I was always sent outside to face down whatever went bump in the night be it wind, animal, or human. I did what took to ensure domestic tranquility. Stopped training which I found really relaxing in so many ways and passed my small collection to my father. After the relationship ended, I resumed training and collecting. I changed who I was and altered my outward beliefs for another person. In retrospect, this was a bad idea and not a healthy relationship. I believe your situation is a bit different. I grew up with a gun shop being attached to the house. All in all I guess we got a bit lucky with everyone living and having all their digits. We did have what you could classify as standard operating procedures that helped us along. At 12 or 14 I was scared to death to touch any of the merchandise without permission because of the beating that would ensue. In the modern world one might lose custody of their children for that, I guess? I was trained how to handle these items sharps from 4, and firearms form around age 6. I was allowed to use them unsupervised, sharps from age 8 or 9 (I promptly got stiches from a 3 cm deep puncture when the piece I was carving slipped. I think every member of my family asked, "Do you see now why we never cut back towards ourselves?" I also got spanked somewhere in the process), firearms from 13 or 14 to hunt small game. These last three items are somewhere between out of vogue to criminal offences now, but they kept children safe for millennia.

These aren't answers, more in the line of data points for you and/or commiseration. I am glad your son's friend is ok. Boys (children) get hurt. The pain experienced as a child helps harden us up for what will happen as an adult and teach us as well. The burned hand.... Have you ever thought about how many children had to burn their hand to make that a colloquialism?

I've worked a lot of tough and dangerous jobs and without those childhood experiences I would not have had the knowledge to get those jobs or survived very long. They will both be more cautious and wiser in the future. Knowing that there are pitfalls and consequences to our actions. That is a good thing. A silver lining to an unfortunate event. Good luck in whatever course you choose.

[Maj-Biffy Snodgrass]

Kids and antique swords don't mix well, better to keep the kids locked up and the swords where they live maybe, or is it the other way around ??? .
Personally I would get rid of the wife before parting from any of my collection, wives are easy to find, rare antique edged weapons not so easy, and old antique edged weapons don't nag either.

[Bob A]

No need for the bin. Pack it all up and send it to me. I'll gladly cover shipping.

If your wife ever gets over herself, I'll return it, on your dime - (shilling?). If you've been together for 14+ years, I'm not sanguine about her changing her stance, nor on your exchanging her for a more open-minded example.

You may want to consider a locked room, or safe, or closet, or chest for your collection. Out of sight already, you won't be missing much. As for the kid getting pinked, pointy things were made for that. Boys will be boys.

Does Ireland have he same silly laws about pointy things that the UK has introduced? Such a shame, to blame inanimate objects rather than bad people for that sort of thing, but decadence will out, over time, in most any civilisation.

Pleased to report that my wife has finally reached a state of tolerance for my weaponry; watching cities being burned by anarchist thugs, with the tacit complicity of govt, has helped open her eyes. Ultimately and ideally we are each responsible for ourselves.

[drac2k]

I read your post with sympathy and a bit of amusement.
First, consider yourself lucky; had you been stateside, you would have been probably talking to a lawyer about suing you instead of a father.
Secondly and more importantly, if you have a good wife, educate her rather than get rid of her as it will cost you less and you will end up losing the collection anyway. You can advise her that the value of your collection is doing better than your 401K plan. Next, you can relate to her by informing her that even though you don't understand her need for dozens of pairs of shoes and purses that she possesses and will never wear more than once, you accept that as she should accept your desire to collect the things that you like, and whereas her items have no resale value, yours do. Take her to a real Militaria show; she will meet some of the most educated people around and the old men will swarm around her, making her feel like a movie star. You should follow that up with a great meal(spare no expense), at an excellent restaurant.
Boys being boys, they would have gotten into something had they not gotten into your study; whether it was the kitchen drawer full of knives or your tool shed with hammers, nails, saws, etc. The results would have been the same, somebody cut or bleeding. I do think that your son should suffer as you have suffered, as there are consequences for his careless behavior. I might suggest that he be placed on restriction for a couple of weeks, doing any chore that your wife requests, such as cleaning, laundry, pulling weeds out of the flower bed, etc. If you really want to be harsh, you can insist that every time your wife goes shopping, he must accompany her.
All in all, I am guessing that you have 2 very fine sons and a nice wife, and this will be a funny story to be brought up at the next Christmas gathering.

[toaster5sqn]

I'm not sure I can advise trading in the wife for one who is more into weapons. While marrying a tomboy does avoid an awful lot of the usual complaints it gets tricky when they decide that being a tomboy is not enough for them any more and transition to male. That sort of thing can really bring the relationship to an end.

[gp]

Originally Posted by Bob A

No need for the bin. Pack it all up and send it to me. I'll gladly cover shipping.

The boss, that’s my wife, doesn’t like my Bichaq and Yataghan collection,
yet her tongue is deadlier and faster than an AK47 Kalashnikov …
and sharper than a cakija…( Bosnian knife)


Can I pack her up and send her to you? i’ll gladly cover shipping….

BR

Gunar

[fernando]

My wife is not the problem. She doesn't doesn't appreciate antique weapons but lives quite well with such tastes of mine. The daughter is grown up and away, so no problem there, either. So i am free to fill the dining room walls and shelves with my pieces; some space left for a couple paintings.
So the only precaution i must take is to prevent the pointy ones from hurting the cats, when they are on their way.


.

[asomotif]

Hello Ken,

Well, that is an unfortunate accident/incident for sure.
Although your son will probably be in puberty and part of the brain seems to turn into useless jelly during that period, I am sure this will be a lesson he will remember. Can it ease your wife's mind when there is a lock on the study ?

Personally I have a wall of spears in the living room. When my daughter was small I also had a basket full of klewang in the living. This never caused any problems. Also not with visiting kids. My daughter (18 yrs now) just confirmed that her friends are sometimes sort of impressed by the collection of spears, but they (fortunately) never show any intentions to fool around with them.

Interesting is that my wife has no problems with the weapons.
The wall of spears was in fact her idea. We have mandau's on display which she basiccaly likes. She does not like keris or rentjong and klewang, so they are in the attic.
Years ago I discovered that she really does not like fire arms.
I bought a blunderbuss from Atjeh and she was very clear on that one. I am not into fire arms myself, so it was never discussed before, but the blunderbuss had to go. My wife explained that to her this was a weapon designed to kill people....
Ok, I almost made the mistake of explaining her that the other weapons originally has a similar purpose

I wish you good luck finding a solution.

Best regards,
Willem

[RAMBA]

A cabin in the woods for yourself and collection only.

[TVV]

Jokes aside, this is a serious topic.

If I were you Ken, I would look at this as an opportunity to reevaluate and restructure my collection. I am not sure exactly where the line is between collecting and hoarding, but one test is perhaps the ability to let go of things. If you go through your collection with a more critical eye, there will probably be certain items that you may not want to keep. You can sell those and use the proceeds to buy fewer items, but of superior quality.

By trading quantity for quality, it would give your wife and others a sense of thinning of the collection, though from your point of view you would not be losing anything. A smaller collection can then be stored in a more secure place easier.

When it comes to emotional reactions, often showing an attempt to fix a situation is more important than actually fixing it, and should calm the situation down faster than if you try to downplay what happened.

[Richard G]

Most unfortunate, but not a disaster!
Clean and oil, and the sword will be fine.
Best wishes,
Richard

[Rick]

There are companies that make locking free standing cases for the display of weapons, long guns etc. Or maybe you have a talented furniture maker you can contact in your area, Ken.
Even a tall bookcase that someone could make locking glass doors for.
We have places in the US that sell unfinished furniture; I have three 84 inch tall by 36 inch wide bookcases that would probably serve your needs for size. I'm sure you can probably find someone in your area that could fabricate doors for such a piece. Mine are used for books, but with a bit of modification that might be an answer.

[drac2k]

Display cases with locks are a good idea, but sometimes you want to be like Smaug and immerse yourself in your treasure hoard.

[Kmaddock]

Hi All
Thank you for kind words.
The storm has passed for the moment and things are back on a reasonably even keel.
The chances of my Zulu spears and shield ever getting on the wall are very much diminished though.
I enjoyed reading the responses though but as yet my 150 odd pieces are still safely in my hands, the idea of culling un wanted pieces to free up space and money though I might act on.
I have some pieces of 1800's British edged weapons that just don't fit into my collecting sphere maybe i should release them back into the collecting savanna?
Keep well all and thanks again
Ken

[gp]

Originally Posted by Kmaddock

Hi All
Thank you for kind words.
The storm has passed for the moment and things are back on a reasonably even keel.
The chances of my Zulu spears and shield ever getting on the wall are very much diminished though.
I enjoyed reading the responses though but as yet my 150 odd pieces are still safely in my hands, the idea of culling un wanted pieces to free up space and money though I might act on.
I have some pieces of 1800's British edged weapons that just don't fit into my collecting sphere maybe i should release them back into the collecting savanna?
Keep well all and thanks again
Ken

why not have your Zulu spears still on the wall behind glass ?
That would take care of it and take away the risk.

I have no little children but yet have my collection out of reach anyway and with a cat who occassionally goes wild when chasing a fly or a spider, having my collection "locked" behind a glass display or cupboard solves quite a lot...
Makes you and your boss / wife happy, whilst the kids are out of the dangerzone...and not even talking about the legal consequences in a worst case scenario!