Knives, heck!
I wrote this letter to a newspaper that had an article about knives being too easy to buy:
To ‘letters’ at SB independent
Re “Knives a-plenty” by Mike Oak
Mike Oak decries the ease with which knives can be bought, leading to a high murder rate- I would like to point out that in Elizabethan England, one of the most violent times and places in history, most murders were done with... a cudgel! yes, folks, that’s a tree branch, sometimes known as “Piece of wood”, also the most used weapon in the Rwanda genocide.
Given the amount of tree trimming going on in Santa Barbara, these lethal weapons can be found almost anywhere, often for free! I suggest that all tree trimming be halted immediately while a commission can be formed (and paid) to study the problem.
As for taking away our knives, if “Mike Oak” (surely a pseudonym) wants my 8 inch Wusthof chef’s knife, not to mention my immaculate Yokosuka sushi knife, he’ll have to pry my cold, dead fingers from around it.
Sincerely,
Montino Bourbon Del Monte
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