Oh Alan, your tale of a housekeeper reminds me of a very awkward experience when I stayed with a friend in Gujarat. He was the younger son of the late Maharajar of Dranghadra, a former Rajphut principality. We would be served by his cook for all meals and tea. This poor woman was of a reasonable caste, not dahlit (untouchable), but she treated me like a king. She insisted on washing my feet if I had been outside and would kneel with her face touching the ground when spoken to. I was very uncomfortable (to say the least). I asked my friend (the Prince) to ask her not to do that, but he said it was what she was taught to do and she would feel hurt if I stopped her.
Such customs (outdated by a hundred plus years IMHO) were still present in the early 21st C, and probably still are. I chose to swallow my Western bias and acceot her for what she wanted to be. We actually became friends and she taught me some of her recipes. Outside the kitchen, we returned to our socially appropriate postures and customs. Only in her kitchen were we allowed to be two human beings talking equally.
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